Aurora and Annie
In my 54 years, my proudest accomplishment has always been being a mom. Annie was my first born, my pride and joy. She was just the best kid and loved being by my side. We were inseparable. That’s why what happened when Annie was 17 felt, and still feels, so heartbreaking.
I remember the day Annie came home and told me about Patrick. She was so in love. I remember that beaming smile on her face, it made me smile too, but underneath, I also felt worry. Almost like my subconscious knew something that I didn’t. A mother’s instinct. Annie and Patrick soon became the ones that were inseparable, and it wasn’t long into their relationship that I noticed changes in her. She didn’t seem to have the same interest in what she once loved. She used to love helping me in the kitchen, but I had been finding myself without my “sous chef” more often than not. Her friends that used to come over for movie nights just seemed to disappear. Soon, it was just Annie and Patrick.
About 6 months into their relationship and right around their high school graduation, Annie came into my room, announcing to me that she wouldn't be going to college. She had decided that instead, she and Patrick were moving into an apartment. We got into a huge argument. I felt helpless, I couldn't get through to her. I could always get through to her. This was when our relationship started to unravel. I couldn’t understand it. Had I done something wrong?
Back then I had no idea what was happening, I was so confused by it all. Now I know it was Patrick. Annie was slowly being isolated from everything she knew and loved. The following year was the hardest I’ve ever experienced. Annie and Patrick went ahead and moved into their own apartment. She would phone me regularly at first, but those calls became so few and far between until I barely heard from her. There was one call I’ll never forget. It was brief and to the point. She called me to let me know she was pregnant. I was stunned.
I rarely had contact with Annie by this point, and when we did it was always a fight. Soon she didn’t want to talk to me at all. My heart was broken; I stopped reaching out. Walking by her empty room every day was more painful than I can describe. By now, we’d gone 3 agonizing months without talking, until that day, she finally called. I remember it so well.
Annie called me from a place called YWCA. She told me that she knew something felt wrong a few months ago and she needed to talk to someone about it. Things between her and I had gotten so bad that she felt like she couldn’t reach out to me. She came across the number for YWCA Niagara Region and that’s when everything changed. Annie told me that she had been staying there for the last month. She had called and spoken to one of the advocates telling them what was going on. That was when she realized she was in a very unhealthy relationship, and she needed to get out.
For the last month Annie has been working with the advocates (or as I like to call them, angels) to try to make sense of what had gone on for the last year. They were able to teach her about what a healthy relationship looks like and how easy it is to miss the signs of abuse. Something not even I understood. They encouraged her to reach out to me and for the first time in a long time, I could hear it in her voice, Annie was starting to sound like Annie again.
As far as I’m concerned, these women, this place, saved Annie’s life. They brought her out of a darkness no one else knew how to. Not only was it a safe place to lay her head, but it was also a space to unravel her confusion. To build her confidence and to set a strong foundation for the rest of her life. I thought I had lost my little girl forever, but the YW brought her back to me.