Tag Archives: Parenting

Trailblazing Fathers

There is something to be said about a dad doing things outside of the societal ‘norm’. These ‘trailblazing’ daddies who are out there starting hair schools so other dads can learn how to style their daughter’s hair. The ones rising to fame because a photo of himself with his infant strapped to his chest while brushing his daughter’s hair in the bathroom has baffled the world. The daddy bloggers who are fielding questions from other dads and posting about the often hilarious antics of their experiences with their children. The one posting letters to his wife on Facebook about his trials and tribulations with his young ones while she is laid up in the hospital (who subsequently gained thousands upon thousands of followers.) These daddies are showing men around the world that it’s cool to be an involved father.father-682663_1920

There is also something to be said about those same dads not really understanding why their actions are being praised so astoundingly when to them they are just being the best dad they can be.

We’ve recently been seeing a rise in men tossing aside the oppressive ideas that dads can’t be as involved or more in their children’s upbringing. We are seeing them shrug off the need to maintain the macho status as the typical absent father. And it’s so exciting to see how embraced those dads have been. How encouraged they are to ‘keep up the good work’.  “I feel like the kudos have made me a better dad,” he said. “When you hear ‘you are such an awesome dad,’ you start to believe it and let go of the mistakes you make as a parent.”

It’s gratifying to see moms posting blogs in defense of their baby daddy’s like this one about dumbass stuff we need to stop saying to dads and it’s comforting to witness this shift in society’s thinking. Women have been saying for years that we can do anything a man can do. So maybe we shouldn’t act so surprised when it turns out that men can do anything we can do too.

Kudos to you, you trailblazer daddies you!

A Million Little Yeses

Have you heard of Harambe? If you haven’t, you may be one of the few who has resisted Facebook or internet sensationalism in general this past week. Harambe is the 400lb gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo who was killed after a child “fell” into his enclosure. What has stirred such controversy is that “the internet” is looking for someone to blame: the zookeepers for being too hasty in their shot? The zoo for not having a proper enclosure? Or the mom of the boy, Michelle Gregg, for not keeping an eye on him. Continue reading

Two Moms

Two Moms

(My View from the Peanut Gallery)
Once upon a time, there were two lovely damsels. Raised in separate, yet similar, worlds where the virtues of princes were extolled, they lived their lives waiting for their knights in shining armor. Knights were found, lives were pledged, and babies were made, all in the name of storybook endings.
I met Kymm and Jill seven years ago when I went to work for one of them. It doesn’t matter which one really, because when you have one, you simply have the other. They come as a package; a brazen, funny, loving package that makes you wonder why you can’t shake loose your heterosexuality if it means being THAT happy. Sixteen years after they first met, they still look at each other with the kind of devotion that makes me ache with envy.Cover Pic Kymm and Jill
Whenever I hear people discuss same-sex parents and speculate on the kind of life “those children” will have, I always come back to these beautiful women, and the beautiful women they’ve raised. It has always been my experience that the most interesting people in this world, the strongest, the most accomplished, are those who were raised in a less-than-traditional family. I’m not saying greatness can’t come from tradition, simply that it usually doesn’t, just as a potted tree will never become as magnificent as one that grows a little wild.
Time spent with these women is always full of amazing food and the kind of laughter that makes other people either envious or annoyed. Conversations with them are always open and enlightened; there are no boundaries about what’s an appropriate topic, no judgment, or fear that the choices you make, or the life you live, is somehow less-than… and trust me, there is enough talent in this family to justify being a little smug.

They are the barometer with which I measure my parenting. When they agree with choices I’ve made, I feel more confident that I’m on the right track.

Each of the four women is artistically inclined, whether it’s being a chef or a painter or a stylist, they all have a talent to call their own, and a view of the world that inspires you to open your own mind just a little more. They are the barometer with which I measure my parenting. When they agree with choices I’ve made, I feel more confident that I’m on the right track.Kymm and Jill
I often wonder what other same-sex parents go through when trying to raise their families. Do they try to be as close to ‘traditional’ as possible to avoid the appearance of being that much more different, or,  like Jill and Kymm, have they embraced that which makes them unique, and used it as a springboard into truly exceptional? It’s not my place to judge regardless, I simply hope that there are more people able to stand up to societal norms and fully realize the scope of influence they could have on a generation.
The children my friends have raised, in partnership with their father, are spectacular. Intelligent, articulate, strong, and uncompromising, they are what this next generation needs to lead it into unapologetic inclusivity. They are, ultimately, the answer to the question of “what kind of life will kids like those have?”…magnificent.
And they all lived happily ever after.

 

 

 

So. Gender Norms…

When I first discovered I was having a boy, I was so grateful. Not being a ‘girly’ girl myself, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to raise one. A boy sounds easier, right? They’re rough and tumble. They fall down and get right back up. You don’t have to worry about their feelings quite as much. You don’t have to worry about having a conversation about periods or boobs, or getting pregnant. There’s no fear about their safety as they start to develop, you just have to teach them about consent and respect. This was going to be a breeze. Continue reading