For the month of May we are focusing on motherhood. Today, we hear a daughters perspective, written by one of our newest bloggers, Steph.
1. You can always make something out of nothing. Even food.
Something that I have always admired my mum for is her undeniable talent of being able
to make a meal that would satisfy even the pickiest of eaters with very minimal cooking ingredients. We could have tomatoes, red peppers, and mushrooms in the fridge and my mum would be able to whip up some form of a salad with a fancy dressing. Her meals are always good and probably aided in my adventurous eating habits over the years. I’m also more likely to experiment with mixing different foods, rather than seeing nothing in the fridge and ordering in greasy Chinese (although there is always time and room for Chinese food).
My mum’s talent of making something out of nothing in the kitchen also crosses over into her outlook on life experiences. Whether she realizes it or not, my mum is a pretty positive woman and I try my hardest to match her positivity in even the most frustrating of situations. She always encourages me to see the bright side in dark situations; even when it’s really, really hard to. If I did horribly in a course at school, my mum would always flip the negative into a positive and talk about the experience I gained even though I didn’t do so well. Mum always believes that nothing in life is a failure, only a lesson that can be learned from and put to use in the future. Even though I’m sure she thinks that I’m not listening to her positivity when I’m feeling down, her making something out of nothing theory has changed my perspective on a lot of things in life.
2. Never undersell yourself to anyone.
My mum is, and has always been, a firm believer in talking about yourself in a positive manner. Why should you feel as though you cannot talk about how great you are at something for fear that you’ll offend someone else? Did you get a great mark on an assignment? Go ahead and tell someone when asked how school is going.
Underselling yourself is an easy trap to fall into, but achieving something or just being your awesome self is something that your peers appreciate and want to hear about. If they don’t appreciate your awesome-ness, then maybe there are some things that need to be reevaluated.
3. Never undersell yourself to yourself.
Never tell yourself that you are worth less than anybody else. If you don’t believe in yourself, who else is going to believe in you? You are worth being proud of yourself.
4. Despite everything you believe, your mother is probably right.
Like any person in their early twenties, I like to think I’m right. All of the time. I struggle accepting advice, especially from my mum, because I feel like I know what the right thing is for myself. Sure my mum has been around three decades longer than I have, but what does she know?
Actually . . . she knows a lot.
Relationships, work, school, friendship, personal advice; my mum seems to have an answer for all of it. As much as I tend to tune her out and “yeah, yeah, yeah” my way through a conversation, I usually come to find that she was right all along.
Yep. Should have left that job when I had the opportunity to start somewhere new.
Yep. Should have started that assignment and asked the Professor for help waaaaay before the night before the due date.
Mum: even though it may seem like I’m not listening to you 75 percent of the time, I really, really am. There is just this . . . itch in me that requires my twenty-two year old self to be independent and make my own decisions. This itch will go away eventually, I’m sure. Until then, however, know that you are almost always right and I am indebted to all of the priceless advice that you have gently and harshly given me throughout my life.
5. You can do everything you’ve ever wanted on your own.
My mum has solely raised me since I was ten years old. My parents separated the summer before grade five, and since then, my amazing mum has taken on the roles of both mother and father. Never once has she missed a parent-teacher interview, a recital, or school event. Never once has she said “no” to helping me with homework or a tough problem in my life. My mum has always been the one to give me a pat on the back when I’ve done something that I thought was impossible. She has been a voice of comfort, encouragement, happiness, and love since I can remember. Never once has she complained or used her solo-parental role as an excuse to be mad or bitter.
From the time I was about seventeen, I began to appreciate and better understand my mum and the millions of things that she has done for me throughout my life – both with my dad and without. It might have been my teenage attitude, but I don’t think I ever fully expressed how appreciative I was towards her. Or maybe it was personal life experiences that have made me realize I have an amazing mother and that she deserves to be appreciated every single day.
My mum, through her unwavering strength, has taught me that you can accomplish anything on your own. You don’t need to be in a relationship or have a hundred friends to make things possible in your life. Accept help when it is being offered and ask for help when you are in need, but never be afraid to tackle tough situations head-on (like managing to hang a mirror with no level or screwdriver . . .)
6. A good cup of tea can make everything wrong in the world, right again.
Being that my mum is British, it seems only right that I write about the great benefits that tea can have on one’s life!
As I’m getting older, I find that the time I physically spend with my mum catching up on everyday occurrences have become less and less. Between work, school, and both our social lives we sometimes get caught up in the tidal wave of being busy and don’t realize how much time has gone by without actually having a decent conversation with one another. But the times that we do spend together, and some of the moments that I cherish the most, are spent with a cup of tea in our hands. On Sunday mornings, before bed, or in the middle of the afternoon we spend time catching up on life and reflect on the week(s) that we’ve had. Some of our greatest conversations, debates, and advice-giving moments have taken place over a cup of tea. Sometimes an hour or two has passed and neither of us have realized.
Even in moments of happiness or sadness, there always seems to be a pot of tea on the go in our house. Sometimes all my mum and I have to do is look at each other; we know when a cup is needed for both of us. Tea, for us, has become our glass of red wine.
While I realize that a literal cup of tea does not fix all of the problems in the world, it is the meaning behind the cup of tea that makes everything wrong, right. Comfort, reflection, conversation, and time with my best friend.
7. There is no time limit in life, but always put 100 % of yourself into everything you do.
University is hard. Actually, any level of education can be hard. After fourteen years of schooling prior to university or college, it can begin to feel as though you have found a lifelong career in being a permanent student. Like anyone, I had struggles throughout post secondary years and really began to feel like I wasn’t getting anywhere, beginning with me finding out that I would have to take more credits since I had changed my major half way through.
My mum was able to fund my way through university (for which I am forever grateful) and the thought of taking more credits and spending more time at university made me feel guilty. How could I tell my mum that I would be staying in school for another year? Asking my mum to pay for me to spend another year at school made me feel guilty for not stepping up to the plate.
After a lot of discussion, my mum sat me down and explained that she did not care how long it would take me to finish university. The point is that I stayed in school when many of my friends and peers did not. At the end of the day, my mum explained that no one would ever be able to take my education away from me; even if it took five years to accomplish. All that matters is that I put 100 percent of myself into every experience, assignment, and responsibility I am given throughout my time at university.
8. Always smile.
My mum has always said that a smile is contagious. If I’m ever in a bad mood or upset, but mum says I should force a smile on my face; “it will make you feel better.” See number four on how mothers are always right.
9. Love Hard
Perhaps the most important thing my mum has ever taught me is how to love unconditionally. Even at my most ugly emotional and physical moments, my mum will tell me how much she loves me and how lucky she is to have me as a daughter.
The love of my mother has shown me how to accept and appreciate positive love from others; and how to give it in return. The love of my mother has made me feel less lonely in my loneliest moments and happier in my happiest moments. I pray that I am able to show as much unconditional love for my children as my mum has done for me.
Mum, I love you and am so lucky to have you as a mother. Happy Mother’s Day.