Tag Archives: Friends

Getting to Know You

Valentines Day has passed, but relationships are still on our minds! This month, our Bloggers chose three of five questions about all forms of relationships.

Evelyn

YWCA pictureTried, Tested and True – your best piece of relationship advice you want to share with the world is..?

Communication and respect. When we’re angry, some of us can say some really mean things and the filter that we usually have is ignored. There is a reason why that filter is there. I think we need to try and see through all of the “red” and decide on what is best for the long-term of the relationship rather than try and hurt the other person as best as we can in that split second. Communication is key on defining what needs to be compromised on or what makes us uncomfortable, etc. but without respect, there will be more harm done than good.

What do you think makes any relationship stand the test of time?

I think relationships will last if both sides reach out to each other. Nobody wants to feel like they’re the only one trying in a relationship!

What I love about my best friend is ..?

I’m close to my sister because even though we are not in the same city, we still communicate on a daily basis and share our fears and achievements.

 

Donna

Tried, Tested and True – your best piece of relationship advice you want to share with the world is…

Don’t keep score.

 You knew you were in love when..?

It wasn’t the flowers, dinners out at fancy restaurants or even the weekend away during our first few months of dating.  These were all lovely and very much appreciated.  It was the moment he stopped, looked concerned and then easily fixed my front door screen from slamming shut, so the girls and I wouldn’t get hurt by it. 

That small gesture, melted my heart.

What I love about my best friend is ..?

I know, without a doubt that she will tell me exactly what I need to know – not always what I want to hear.  She is my sounding board, my champion and partner in crime!

 

Cate

Tried, Tested and True – your best piece of relationship advice you want to share with the world is..?

Appreciate the little things; and this applies to any relationship, be it romantic, familial, platonic or professional. Oftentimes as we grow within our relationships, we can lose sight of why we enjoy spending time with that person or what drew us to them in the first place when we initially met. Sometimes our focus can be redirected towards how we can benefit from our relationships in a material way; unfortunately disregarding the other person is as an innate and caring individual. We tend to expect more out of people who we’ve known for a long time and as time goes on, this can build up to astronomical levels where your efforts, or theirs, don’t seem to meet the expectations anymore. Instead, I focus on the little things, such as bringing extra food to share in the office, giving them a ride to school, or setting aside an entire day or weekend to do things that we both love. It’s the little things, I find, that I remember the most.

You knew you were in love when..?cate

I caught him looking at me for an oddly long time, once during our first summer together. We were driving around in my hometown and as we stopped at a red light, I could feel him looking at me, so I looked at him in return. He wouldn’t break his gaze with me and at first I thought that there was something on my face, or there was something wrong with my hair or clothes. So I asked him, “what is it?”, to which he replied, “Nothing. Can’t I just admire you?” Three years later and he still does this periodically, each time reminding me how much I love him.

Fill in the blanks: I’m close to __________ because _________?

I’m close to my little sister because she is the most compassionate and patient person I know.

 

Marilyn

marTried, Tested and True – your best piece of relationship advice you want to share with the world is..?

My best piece of relationship advice is to remember to continue growing with your partner!  We all change and evolve over time and if we don’t embrace these changes, we risk growing apart. Keep each other in the loop about new and interesting changes or opportunities that are happening in your life. Continue to grow as an individual and learn new things to share with your partner. Take an active interest in your partners hobbies.  Date nights and romance are very important! Make time to pamper each other. Treat each other to thoughtful gestures or meaningful gifts to create beautiful lasting memories. And lastly, be kind to each other!

What I love about my best friend is ..?

What I love about my best friend is his loyalty, dedication, and sense of humour. I love having him for my trusted companion. 

What do you think makes any relationship stand the test of time?

I think commitment and hard work is what makes any relationship stand the test of time. You have to be willing to ride out the tough times without turning on each other. 

 

Joan

What I love about my best friend is ..?

What I love about my best friend is that she is funny and she is always there for me. She gives me realistic advice and always has my best interests in mind. 

Worse relationship advice you ever got, and from who?cosmo

I think Cosmo gives unrealistic and terrible flirting/relationship advice. To further prove my point, here is a BuzzFeed video that shows girls trying these tips on guys.

What do you think makes any relationship stand the test of time?

I think communication is important for a relationship to be able to stand the test of time. By communicating with your partner, you guys get a clear understanding of how one feels towards an issue and how to best resolve an issue. 

Michelle

What I love about my best friend is ..?

I love that my best friend is as completely crazy and insane as me and we are able to cry laughing while doing completely mundane things like grocery shopping. It doesn’t matter how often we see each other because I know regardless of my circumstances she is just a phone call away. She’s the person I can call at 4am from across the country and she would find a way to pick me up. 

What do you think makes any relationship stand the test of time?

I think common interests and goals are very important when considering if a relationship will work out long term and I think too often we try to sell the mantra that “opposites attract”. I think that while opposing perspectives might initially bring you two together, I think being able to find common ground will likely KEEP you two together. 

carrieBest relationship advice you ever got, and from who?

The best relationship advice I have received would definitely be from none other than Carrie Bradshaw (#sexandthecity), who showed us that life can begin again after a disastrous relationship and that best friends are our true soulmates in life. 

 

Sami-Jo

Tried, Tested and True – your best piece of relationship advice you want to share with the world is..?

SAMIErase the illusion of perfection. Everyone likes to brag about their significant other. What you say to others is your business, but the expectations you hold to each other should include room for imperfections. Whether that be in ways you handle anger, sadness, or happiness, how you fail to pick up wet towels from the bathroom floor, or how you suck at cooking and wouldn’t be alive if the other didn’t take time to feed you every day, flaws exist and should be embraced. Sounds easy, but we tend to put the toughest expectations on the ones we hold the closest. They should be the ones we shower with forgiveness for not being perfect human beings, yet still the one you’ve chosen to build a life with. Remember, you’re not perfect either, and at some point, you’ll need understanding more than an anecdote to brag about.

You knew you were in love when..?

My sixteen year old heart thought I was in love the moment my husband – then boyfriend – grabbed my hand in the lobby of the movie theater back in 2000. And maybe I was. I do remember him leaving on the train for basic training in the army less than two years later and thinking if I never saw him again that I would be compromised as a human being, that I wasn’t sure I was equipped to deal with that loss. I wanted him in my life day in and day out and the separation was near unbearable. At some point between not shying away from holding his hand to crying in the train station, love had formed without me pinpointing the moment, but I knew it existed.

What do you think makes any relationship stand the test of time?

I should have a great answer for this because I’ve been in a relationship for 14+ years, but I’m not so sure I do. Over the years my husband and I have had issues like any couple. Maybe the difference between us and others who have since fallen apart was our refusal to give up on each other. Understanding can be the most difficult, especially when you disagree so wholeheartedly with whatever issue you’re facing. Reminding ourselves that the other thinks the way they do and acts the way they do for a reason, and that there’s much more to the person you love then this current debate or perceived ‘irreconcilable difference’, can get back to the core of the relationship and find a way to move on. As long as you’re not compromising your base values, a solution is always possible for those who would rather fight to be together than take the easy way out by ending it all.

Thanksgiving Traditions

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that lends itself well to traditions. Maybe you get together with Friends for a touch football game, or cram in four meals in one day, or maybe you choose to dine on a Ping-Pong table – Okay, you caught me – those all all from TV. If you’re really lucky, maybe you’ve got some hilarious traditions like our Bloggers, Donna and Carli. Just please, no Tofurkey.

Thanksgiving-dinner

Traditions Old and New

-Donna Shelton

October is my favourite month of the year.  Not only is it my birthday month, but it is Thanksgiving

After a busy summer – where I see next to nothing of my children, family and friends for all the social calendars filled with work and summer events taking everyone’s time –  Fall and Thanksgiving slow things down a bit and allow for some serious “face-time” with those I hold near and dear.

A few years back the time honoured tradition of hosting Thanksgiving was passed down from my mother-in-law Joy, to me.  This was a huge leap of faith on her part, and I love her for that.  Through trial and error, and trial and error again, I now think I have held a few family traditions and created a few new ones of our own along the way.

Not surprisingly,thanksgiving new traditions emerged once I took over. Joy and Emilee (my daughter) bring the desserts – this I believe was set as precedence the year I decided to go “healthy” and serve only fruit for dessert on Thanksgiving.  These two fabulous bakers ensure this never happens again.  Arlee, my eldest daughter, brings the veggie tray and wine, which now ensures that should the turkey cooking time run longer than humanly possible to wait, there are treats to sustain everyone a little longer.  I now double and triple check the weight of the turkey and the cooking time it will take.  FYI, there is a turkey brand that you can cook from frozen now!

As you can tell, I am no cook. Thus explains Joy’s leap of faith in passing this down to me.  However, I can prep and put a turkey into the oven – secret is…turkeys really cook themselves.  Once the turkey (which we name each year, don’t ask where that tradition came from!) is in the oven, Steve – my better half – ensures everything else is ready: homemade potatoes, stuffing, gravy from scratch, dinner rolls and two types of veggies for when everyone is ready to sit down to eat.

canOld traditions I have brought from my childhood; I always have cranberry jelly (and yes it must still hold the shape from the can), dinnerware from generations past, and when stacking the plates for pumpkin pie, I add an extra one for those no longer at our table.  I am always thankful when we can slow down, share a meal together and catch up on each others lives after a busy summer.

And so I share with everyone MY no fail recipe for the perfect Thanksgiving dinner:

An open, grateful heart, close family, great friends, excellent food, fine wine and always, always, always dessert!

Happy Thanksgiving!

385-oreo-turkeys

Keep On Carrying On…A Tribute to Rosalie

– Carli Taylor

I think it’s safe to say that it wouldn’t be very difficult to imagine the look on my face as I sat at my Dad’s dining room table on Thanksgiving day a few years ago as he finally, finally…finally brought the turkey to the table. He was swearing, the turkey’s legs were incinerated and still smoking, there was oil all over the platter and I’m pretty sure it was the most god awful looking turkey I had ever seen…carli1

It’s funny how we don’t often recognize a tradition as a tradition until we’ve somehow moved beyond it. Maybe we’ve outgrown it, or found ourselves looking back on it, wishing to share it just one more time. In the spirit of Thanksgiving this is going to be a blog about traditions, but it is also about being thankful.

thanksgiving grandmaMy Dad’s side of the family is very small, and had only a few traditions that as far back as I can remember were never, ever broken. When we gathered, we gathered at Grandma’s. Maybe it’s because she didn’t ask for much. She didn’t insist on us wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, having each child wait their turn to open presents or find their Easter treats, sing carols, or list the things we were thankful for… She just wanted to see all of us gathered around her table for Easter, Christmas and especially for Thanksgiving dinner.  Grandma Lee was a wonderful cook—as I’m positive most reader would agree their Grandmothers are. Her turkey was always cooked to perfection and her wet stuffing turned out to actually be delicious – which I discovered once I finally agreed to try it in my 20’s!  She also made sure to include a favorite dish for everyone at the table. Mine was corn, my sister’s was cranberry sauce. (For far too many years these were often the only things we would eat—but that was okay with her because after all, Grandma’s allow those kind of shenanigans!)

I think the hardest part about thinking through this blog, was realizing that I never appreciated those gatherings enough. Maybe there is a part of all of us that just expects these moments…traditions… to always be, or that you can somehow pick up and carry on with—or without them. Maybe I expected that the glue that sealed those traditions together would always hold…

spoonI remember looking around the table, trying to gauge the reactions on everyone else’s face when that horrifying turkey was practically thrown at the table. From horror, shock and annoyance to a twinkle behind their eyes, then the telltale look of control starting to slip and the pressing of lips together until finally, finally someone’s giggle slipped out. And then came the laughter…and for some of us, the tears.

You see, a beloved Mother, Wife and Grandmother had recently passed away, and we were trying to honor her love of Thanksgiving. Our first sign that we maybe hadn’t quite got it right? Location, location, location. I don’t think any of us thought twice about holding it at my dad’s place. To be honest…there was more room and I guess we weren’t quite ready to face her domain. We started to question the error of our ways when my dad’s brand new oven just stopped working. Stopped cold. But it was okay! My Uncle lives just down the road…another oven to the rescue!!

A few hours later, in stomps my dad, raw turkey in hand, and smoke coming out of his ears. Tell me…What are the odds that two ovens (that had previously worked in perfect condition) would be completely useless and mock us by producing a raw turkey? Apparently the chances were pretty high that day!

But it was okay!!fire Because my Father and Uncle had recently watched some crazy fools some really lucky people on Youtube cook their turkey in oil. Voila! A new tradition is born! Light the barbecue.

Holy smokes don’t ever cook a turkey in oil on the barbecue, okay!?

The laughter was needed. The tears were needed. Grandma…well apparently she really needed us to remember who held the best Thanksgiving dinners. And we do. And what any one of us wouldn’t give to be able to tell her that and to thank her for being our glue and giving us so many memories. I think enough time has passed now that it’s time to start some new traditions—maybe I’ll offer to host this year—after all, she did teach me how to make a mean turkey and so far my oven has worked in perfect condition. Plus, maybe it’s time to pass down her ‘special’ cranberry sauce that my sister still adores…for best results, I recommend cranberry free:

cranberry

Do you have a Thanksgiving Tradition? Share it with us in the Comments section!

Images courtesy of Google