Tag Archives: Father’s Day

Father – Daughter Interviews

With Father’s Day just having passed, we decided to celebrate and interview our fathers/step-fathers/father-figures. The fathers were asked to answer the following questions about what it is like exactly to be a dad:

  1. Tell us one thing you want everyone to know about being a Father/Step-Father/Father-figure?
  2. What would you love your daughter to know about you?
  3. Sometimes there are those not-so-perfect Fathering moments – what is one piece of advice you can give to help each other through those moments?
  4. As a Father, Step-Father, or Fatherly influence, what is your biggest worry?
  5. Can you share the best memory or moment – that made you realize….I’m a Father?
  6. What is the best or most useful piece of advice you can give a new Father of a daughter?
  7. If there was one thing you could tell your wife, or women in general that would make being the Father of a daughter easier – what would that be?
  8. Has having a daughter(s) changed you?  Can you share how?

Mark & Kaelyn:

What would you love your daughter to know about you?

pot picture
Kaelyn and Mark behind a pot Kaelyn worked on for months to give to her dad for Father’s Day.

I would love for my daughter to know that I think about her every second of every minute of every day when I’m away at work.

Sometimes there are those not-so-perfect Fathering moments – what is one piece of advice you can give to help each other through those moments?

Love unconditionally and don’t let unnecessary expectations rule your relationships.

As a Father, Step-Father, or Fatherly influence, what is your biggest worry?

Biggest worry: my child gets sick or hurt.

Can you share the best memory or moment – that made you realize….I’m a Father?

The first time I got to hold you and to this day each time when I get to hug or hold you.

What is the best or most useful piece of advice you can give a new Father of a daughter?

Teach her to smile and not to take her time so seriously.

If there was one thing you could tell your wife, or women in general that would make being the Father of a daughter easier – what would that be?

Share them equally at all times.

Has having a daughter(s) changed you? Can you share how?

Yes, I have had to look inside myself for better answers to this gift of life.

Gord & Jessica

Tell us one thing you want everyone to know about being a Father?

It is very rewarding when you see your children achieve something that they like.

What would you love your daughter to know about you?

I want my daughter to know that I always want the best for her.

Sometimes there are those not-so-perfect Fathering moments – what is one piece of advice you can give to help each other through these moments.

Don’t sweat the small stuff, things will always get better.

As a Father, what is your biggest worry?

My biggest worry is that my daughter won’t follow her dreams.

Can you share the best memory or moment that made you realize …I’m a father?

My best memory that made me realize I was a father was looking into her eyes the moment she was born.

What is the best or most useful piece of advice you can give a new Father of a daughter?

Even though you want to keep your daughter protected and close to you, you have to allow them the space and time to experience everything they want to in life.

James and Mei Mei

Michael and Candice Lee

Tell us one thing you want everyone to know about being a Father/Step-Father/Father-figure?

It’s very important to me as a stepfather that I always treat my stepchildren as well as I do my own.

Sometimes there are those not-so-perfect Fathering moments – what is one piece of advice you can give to help each other through those moments?

The best piece of advice I could give stepparents is to remember to be patient with their new family members.

As a Father, Step-Father, or Fatherly influence, what is your biggest worry?

I want ALL of my kids to be happy in life.

What is the best or most useful piece of advice you can give a new Father of a daughter?

Don’t be so overbearing with your children and stepchildren that you force them to run into someone else’s arms for love and comfort.

 

Murray

While many dads all over the country are looking forward to celebrating Father’s Day this weekend, for Murray, today will be yet another reminder of what he doesn’t have: time with his daughter. Murray’s daughter was about a year old when the relationship between him and his partner dissolved. They had had a good, happy relationship, but financial troubles and irreparable issues slowly eroded what once had been love. Murray came home one day to his things packed up in boxes, and he was asked to leave. He found shelter with his parents for some time but that wasn’t a long-term solution. Murray reached a low point and finally decided to move the Niagara Falls Men’s Shelter run by the YW.

“When I do see her, she is shy and timid, like you would be with a stranger.”

Since then, he has seen his daughter once. She is almost three now. He keeps toys for her in his tidy shelter unit, but he doubts that she will ever get to play with them. “When I do see her, she is shy and timid, like you would be with a stranger. She shouldn’t have that with her own father,” he says, angry, disappointed. Murray and his daughter’s mom turned their lives around when they found out they were having a child. “We got off the drugs; we got clean together – it woke me up. She was a blessing.”

Today, almost three years later, he feels like a babysitter who only gets to see his daughter on rare occasions. “She’s a good mom, and I realize I still have things in my life to clean up, but I just want to see my daughter. Even just for a couple of hours a week; that is all I am asking for.” Going through the court system is simply not an option for Murray at this point and by the time it will be, it might be too late. “A daughter or a son need their father as much as their mother.”

His biggest worry is that by not being around her, he can’t teach her the many things that he has learned.

Murray knows that he has made mistakes in his life. “I was young; I was stupid,” but he is doing everything he can to get back on his own two feet:  he is trying to find secure housing, he is trying to find a job – and try is all he can do. The same goes for his daughter. He will not stop fighting for her and he won’t stop trying to be the dad his daughter’s mother needs him to be in order to let him see his child. His biggest worry is that by not being around her he can’t teach her the many things that he has learned. Murray is homeless. He has fought the excruciating battle that is substance addiction but here he is: 27 years old, sober and determined to get his life back. There are lessons he has to pass on, values that go beyond materialism, things he believes in, beliefs that have helped him to keep going and to never give up.

When he talks about the few memories that he has been able to share wiMurrayth her, a big smile washes over his face. “On my mom’s street, there is an owl that sits on a fence and as soon as we turn onto the street, she says to me: let’s go, see the owl, daddy! It’s moments like that, just getting to spend time with her, just hearing her say daddy, that are my favourite memories.”

Dad’s Home!

Are Dads really all that important? Are they not just the ones who bring home the money so that Mom can do her job? This seems to still be a common stereotype in our society – bloggers Carli and Dana answered June’s Question Of The Month:

What’s Dad Got To Do With It?

Dana

I was driving down the street last week, and the car in front of me turned on his signal to make a left hand turn into his driveway. Awkwardly, there were a million cars coming the opposite direction so he had to sit there and wait, while subsequently creating a lineup of cars behind him. I didn’t mind, because I wasn’t in a rush and it was a beautiful day. As I sat there, with the windows down, I saw that this man’s children had come outside on the front lawn and were cheering, “DADDY’S HOME! DADDY’S HOME!” They were jumping up and down and non-stop screaming in pure excitement that their dad was about to pull in the driveway. It made me remember that my sister and I used to do the same thing when our dad came home from work. We would be cheering in the backyard waiting for him to open the gate and greet us. For some reason, I don’t remember ever cheering for my mom to come home, which is weird. It was always my dad. (Sorry Mom, I love you too!). There was just something really exciting about dad coming home.

This got me thinking about our theme for June: “What’s dad got to do with it?” Dads are interesting to me. Maybe because I’m not a guy. I will never know what it’s like to be a dad. I feel like it must be awesome, but also weird. I imagine being any type of parent is hard, but I could see dad being a particularly hard one. Everyone I know has a very different relationship with their dad, and each dad is a different “type” of dad. No two relationships are quite the same when it comes to dads (in my inner circle, at least). Even my relationship with my dad is very different from my sister’s. It’s odd because, although everyone’s relationship with their mother is different, there are some very common mom-child relationships. I think my sister and I have the same type of relationship with our mom. Dads always seem to be a little different, and I don’t know why. I mean, moms are there, taking care of you from the beginning like it’s no one’s business; and that maternal instinct is just so strong. I don’t know how dads feel or compare when it comes to their paternal instinct. Moms are tough to beat; maybe it’s because traditionally they have become more nurturing and loving?

My dad was a great dad. He wasn’t the most lovey-dovey dad, he was a pretty serious guy but was always there for my sister and I and always said I love you. It’s strange that a lot of people don’t get the “I love you” from a parent, more specifically from the father. He was very into athletics and health. He was busy and had a lot of things he liked to do: he was a rower and a rowing coach his entire life. He took my sister and I out in the coach boat every day during coaching season. He bought us snow cones after (if we were good), or donuts on Sunday mornings (again, if we were good). He drove us to our friend’s houses, gave us our allowance, and made us do our chores. He taught how to canoe, kayak, camp, and signed us up for art classes. He was hard on my sister and I sometimes. We got into a lot of fights during the teenage years. I remember I had some of my girlfriends over, and my dad had just finished a work out in the basement. He came up to get a glass of water in his tight spandex shorts, and nothing else. I WAS MORTIFIED! But once he went back downstairs, my one friend said, “I don’t think my dad even owns a pair of spandex shorts.” Once again, MORTIFIED. But hey, that was my dad.

As a female, I think it’s natural to draw away from your father a little more when you get older. I went from celebrating his coming home from work to having a more distant relationship. I didn’t need him as much; I was doing my own thing. I relied on my friends more for support because they seemed to understand me more. Looking back, all the “tough” times I’ve had in my life, it was my dad who gave me some of the best and brutally honest advice. I will never forget the things he has told me during my darkest moments. Recently I started #hardcoreadulting, and all these big life moments were happening, and it was all happening really fast. I was feeling overwhelmed, and the person I wanted to talk to and ask for advice was my dad. These things were happening, and I was making my own decisions, but I wanted my dad’s approval. I love my mom, but I knew I need to talk to my dad about this stuff. I needed his opinion. I know I will be relying on him a lot as this “adulting” continues, and I hope he knows how much I respect him and how highly I think of him. I may not be jumping up and down when he comes home from work anymore, but I’m very glad and extremely appreciative that he is always there for me. So what’s dad got to do with it? The answer is for me and my life, a whole lot!

 

Click here to read Carli’s take on our question of the month!

What’s Dad got to do with it?

Are Dads really all that important? Are they not just the ones who bring home the money so that Mom can do her job? This seems to still be a common stereotype in our society – bloggers Carli and Dana answered June’s Question Of The Month:

What’s Dad Got To Do With It?

Carli

This is a mentality that drives me a bit batty.

I’ve known men more eager to become a father than the woman is to become a mother.

I know men who are raising multiple children, on their own. Their children have structure, rules, ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter, fights, make-ups, time-outs, family outings and most of all know just how much their dad loves them.

I know men who are just as involved in the parenting as their partner. They work with mom to work out the best schedule for their child, and stick to it. They listen to mom’s fears and share their own. They make up rules and back moms. They cut up meals into bite sized pieces, make bottles, stroke their babies head while nursing, read to, sing to, bathe and dress their children. They are present and omnipotent.

Fathers-Day-Photos (1)I know a man whose love for me was so great, it automatically extended to the child attached to me. He’s a man who would do anything possible to ensure our son has a wonderful life. A steady, sturdy, safe and comfortable life.

Yes, there are those fathers out there who don’t make their children a priority. Fathers who don’t offer that same kind of protection and love, structure and balance—or any at all. There are the fathers who hardly get involved in decisions, upbringing, rules and playtime. But there are mothers as well.

I choose to believe my husband is just as capable as I am when it comes to making decisions about children. Partly because of how offended I get when I’m made to believe I’m not capable of doing something and partly because I see examples of a fathers love for his children all around me. Men deserve to be treated equally and with the same equality that women are treated when it comes to child rearing.

Today’s women certainly wouldn’t settle for anything less, now would we?

 

Click here to read Dana’s take on our question of the month!

Creative Corner-Father’s Day DIY Ideas

OK, Father’s Day is this Sunday, and it’s time to stop procrastinating!  All ri
ght, I may be projecting, but I can’t be the only one out there who tends to leave gift ideas to the last minute. I found this great site via Pinterest (of course), which offers some great DIY ideas, and links to printables. For the traditionalists, there’s even one for a tie! Go forth and craft!

36th Avenue